Horny? Not if I'm watching crap porn

I've been watching porn movies for over 15 years now. Since reaching the age of 32 on Monday I've seen many, from cheap European amateurs, American stuff, Australian, English and one or two I'd like to forget I'd seen.

Never though have I failed to feel turned on or not get an erection. Until tonight.

I've grown less and less fond of a lot of the porn that comes from America. I find it somewhat bland these days. The stories are too contrived. The sex is, well, just sex. Patterns are followed, there always seems to be a set number of man-woman, man-man-woman, woman-woman to every movie.

I reached a new low though tonight while watching Pirates.

As is the case with a lot of porn movies the story and title takes it's lead from a Hollywood movie and changes a few things to avoid copyright before adding in the de rigueur sex. I'd expect the story to be weak, the script to be poor and the acting to be bordering on the pathetic but Pirates, to me, seeks new lows. The sex is so sterile that I've failed to mount even the beginning on an erection.

Maybe it's the thought of 18th Century women with far too much blonde hair and plastic tits. I've never been one for blondes anyway and fake breasts are getting so common that it's just silly. And yet the movie is sold on having "10 of the most arousing sex scenes in the history of erotic cinema". I dread to think what the person who wrote that had been watching.

I do blame the book Once More, With Feeling on how I now perceive porn now. It showed the rather dull, robotic nature to how Americans make porn.

Not that I'm wholly against Americans or their porn. It's just the bigger budget movies that just don't seem to have anything going for them anymore that gets to me.

Tags: sex, porn, pirates

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